This is the most amazing diet ever, but you have to follow it to the letter or it simply won't work. Keep that in mind.

The diet begins with breakfast and breakfast is: nothing. You shouldn't eat breakfast because breakfast makes you fat. For lunch, visit any pizza buffet in town and make sure you select thick crust or deep-dish. They should be topped with at least two kinds of meat and extra cheese. For dinner, you need to switch to thin crust with just pepperoni. By following this strict regimen, you can eat all you want and the pounds will just melt away.

As you've (hopefully) already guessed, there is no pizza diet. This piece of fiction is meant to represent every other miracle diet that has ever come and gone. My hope is that by employing something so obviously bogus, you'll be better armed to see the signs the next time a so-called miracle diet comes along. Don't fall for it.

Of course, if you ever do find a pizza diet, make sure to let me know. I'll be the first in line to try it.

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